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At the Feet of The Mother

Letters 1935

This second volume of letters consists of my correspondence with Sri Aurobindo during the third year of sadhana, 1935.

Will you not teach me how to aspire properly so that there may be no mental push in it?

A quiet prayer or remembrance of the object of aspiration without a pull for results is the way for doing that. If along with that, there is a faith that it is sure to come, it is the best for this condition.

It is again our ego which makes us think that on the higher spiritual planes there would be no need of aspiration. Even our sweet Mother prays day and night — we can feel it distinctly when she plays on the organ!

Yes — All that is very true. It is a prayer or invocation that Mother makes in the music.

If a sadhak commits a mistake in his sadhana why do others bother about it? They are not here to enlighten him.

It is certainly superfluous to intervene in another person’s sadhana — but you should receive all remarks and criticisms about yourself with a quiet mind and without any reaction against the critic.

What can I do under the present clouded circumstances?

Get rid of the “what can I do” mentality. That is the one thing to do under any circumstances. If you shake off your sense of helplessness and call down the force or let it pass, then something can be done.

Why am I singled out by the difficulties? Any error on my part?

Everybody has his full share of difficulties, except those who do not mind what difficulties they have. Difficulties come from the old nature trying to rise up — they need not be the result of any error.

What was there on the head that pressed so powerfully?

The power from above.

Why was it doing so?

It must have been to make a fresh opening.

You wrote about the lower forces: “In the working out sometimes they rise, sometimes they disappear.” Cannot the lower forces be worked out easily in their own field without their rising up and disturbing the whole being?

I am not aware of any case in which the lower forces did not rise up. If such a case occurred I fancy it would be the first in human history.

I come to hear many things which disturb me. Should I resolutely avoid them?

Unless you wear cotton wool in your ears or shut yourself in a closed room, you can’t help hearing all sorts of things. You have not to be affected by them or think about them, that is all.

I am still not able to control my speech.... If this defect continues, I am afraid, I shall have to observe mauna [silence].

Mauna is seldom of much use. After it is over, the speech starts again as in the old times. It is in speech itself that the speech must change.

The higher consciousness keeps contact only through my passive self and if I work some part in me feels disturbed.

It is always so with everybody unless one feels the Mother’s Force working through one in the action. It is possible to work through the passive state, provided one feels that one is not doing the work but it is being done through one.

"Although there is no ego in the spiritual planes, yet by the spiritual experience the ego on the lower planes may get aggrandised through pride and wrong reception of the experience. Also one may by entering into the larger mental and vital planes aggrandise the ego."
Since you saw wrong things entering me, why did you not warn me about them?

Here again is the rajasic ego in you, dictating to us what we should have done and showing us our mistakes.

Is it not really difficult to offer oneself to the Divine when he seems to give no return?

It is the only way to a real self-giving — otherwise the ego always remains in spite of experiences and progress.

What produces the loss of mental balance?

The loss of mental balance is due to...exaggerated ego, exaggerated sex, acceptance of a hostile force etc.

How to liberate myself from the vital strife and struggle?

Allow no demand of the human vital to rise up — clamour of egoistic revolts — or if one rises see that you or no part of you identifies itself with it.

Will all be returning to the Ashram after pacifying the [sex] push?

If the external being is too strong for him and its desires increased, then it means his realisation is postponed. But then there is no other choice. For the only other alternative is a life in the Ashram itself which would be soon a public scandal.

While I am getting some control over the sex impulses during the waking condition, there is absolutely no change in my dream state. How is that?

It is absolutely necessary to get rid of sex interest. But the night dreams will only disappear after the waking mind is perfectly free.

I have written to you that it was possible to detach myself from the sex difficulty to some extent. But there is no total overcoming it.

It is not a question of overcoming, but of detachment — not being identified with it or seized by it. Detachment is the first step. If you can detach yourself from the sex suggestions even when having them as you say, then they do not matter so much ... [and] can wait for their final removal hereafter.