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At the Feet of The Mother

Dealing with Self-Blame and Guilt on the Path

It takes very long to become one-pointed. If we become impatient and want to run through to Mount Everest without sufficient training and in one go, the result is inevitable. Working for the Divine Mother and living for Her is not an examination to be passed in distinction or else an achievement to be acquired. She is infinite and therefore when She allows us there are no limits to this service. We may think that to serve Her one has to do a very particular work in the Ashram, but as we grow, we may realize that even the most ordinary acts can be turned into Her Service and later on even the very fact of breath can become Her Service. We should not make the mistake of drawing too sharp a distinction between life outside and life in the Ashram or become too strict with ourselves. This will not work because there are different parts in us that have a different trajectory of growth. If we deprive these parts by sitting too tightly then they will wilt and wither away, so what would we serve Her with then?

The Sunlit Path is not a set of do’s and don’ts but a certain attitude of reliance upon the Mother for everything with the trust that She is there with us. It is a state when we are fully open to Her with faith and aspiration for a better and truer and higher life. The rest will come in its own time and at its own pace. We cannot beat a child into adulthood. The moment we doubt and blame ourselves, it means that we do not trust Her enough and want to rely only on what we do and our strength. Human strength, even at its best is miniscule and in spiritual matters counts for very little.

The Sunlit Path is not about watching or not watching TV. Plenty of people do not watch TV, have only strict food and do regular exercise but are full of fears and depression. They are far from the sunlit Path. By its definition the Sunlit Path is full of cheer and smiles, joy in the heart and peace that comes through an absolute trust in the Divine Mother’s grace and a constant reliance upon Her. On the other hand, guilt, self-blame etc. will also take us very far from the Sunlit Path.

Yes, one must put in one’s effort to whatever extent one can but the main thing is to remain glad and in a state of balance. Whatever we do should be done in moderation and balance including entertainment. Choosing the right, beautiful programs is certainly better than switching off the TV and believing that the yoga is already done. Doing things in moderation and remaining cheerful is important above all, as the rest will be done by Her. There is a middle state between blind indulgence and total abstinence. If we find that middle line and balance in our life and remember Her in our heart dedicating all we do to Her, all will be well.

Most of all, we should not be harsh with ourselves, which takes away all energy needed for progress and sadhana. We should avoid too much internal debates and analysis about rights and wrongs. Yoga is not a tick the right box examination but more like an essay wherein everything counts including the language, the style, the syntax, the approach, the story and all else. There are people who do all the right things but for the wrong reasons. There are also, I would say, people who do often wrong things for the right reasons! But in the end a Divine Wisdom uses everything to help us progress in the intended direction. So trust Her, remain open to Her and quickly shed off all guilt and blame which of all things are the most harmful…

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