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At the Feet of The Mother

My World: The Mother – by Shanti Doshi (VIII)

Q: What should be my aspiration at present?

A: To be more and more sincere and pure.

31.3.1936

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Q: What do you think of my faith? I believe I have very little and that too in a part of the mind.

A: I do not think it necessary to dissert on these things. One must live them more and more sincerely in a constant aspiration.

1.4.1936

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Q: Would you give me some advice for concentration?

A: Will to concentrate and strengthen your will.

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3.4.1936

Q: I want to rise above this ordinary consciousness and soar towards thee.

A: Keep this aspiration and you will always find my help on the path.

3.4.1936

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It may be that I do not say all that I think, but all that I say I do think.

6.4.1936

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As for cure, it can come only by the growth of consciousness and will. It will be done in its own time.

11.4.1936

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I am always with you in the silence of your heart.

14.3.1936

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Q: I am conscious of things, but have not the force to surmount them.

A: That is because in you the consciousness is more developed than the will.

16.4.1936

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You will always do well to write to me what you feel.

17.4.1936

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If one were to mix only with those who are perfectly sincere, one’s relations would be very limited.

20.4.1936

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I do not wish to intervene because I am not sure that you will have the strength and constancy to do continually what I ask you to do. And for the spiritual life it is preferable to act in ignorance rather than act in disobedience to the order of one’s guru.

20.4.1936

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Do not torment yourself. That will come to be one day, for you aspire for it so much. Meanwhile my help and blessings are with you.

20.4.1936

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As you say very well, each must mind his own things and his relations with me and not at all what others do or do not do, for the affairs of others concern none.

24.4.1936

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Q: How to come out of this chaos?

A: Make your aspiration more and more sincere and integral.

27.4.1936

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Everything will come in its time.

30.4.1936

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Q: May this month of my birthday be for me….

A: The beginning of a life truly sincere.

1.5.1936

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Q: What do you mean by a life truly sincere?

A: To conform all actions to one’s highest aspiration and purest will.

2.5.1936

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Q: Free, free, free. Today I feel less tied to my nature; I do not know what is going on. Would you please explain?

A: It is always better to let the experience establish itself in silence and tranquillity.

4.5.1936

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Q: Why do hostile suggestions have so strong an effect on me?

A: They have the same effect on all who receive them.

8.5.1936

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The very tone of what you write shows that you are making a vital effort big enough. But I do not see any inconvenience in your making the effort and my force is always with you to help you to do it with success.

13.5.1936

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A sentimental attachment is an affective attachment — a vital attachment is a sensual attachment. By this expression I mean: to exchange tender words or sensual gestures, like holding the hand, caressing etc.

14.5.1936

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Q: May my consciousness turn inward.

A: That is indeed, quite indispensable.

15.5.1936

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Q: Do you trust that what I would say to you is without hypocrisy?

A: I truly wish that you are not hypocrite, for hypocrisy is a big obstacle on the spiritual path.

16.5.1936

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I do not think it good to give up effort. It resembles very much a defeat. What one cannot do today one is sure to be able to do one day, if one persists in the effort.

18.5.1936

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The first condition is to keep the mind calm and peaceful. It is in calm that the light can descend.

19.5.1936

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Don’t you believe there is a great deal of imagination in all this? For, truth to tell, I do not feel you more distant today than on other days.

20.5.1936

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Q: It looks to me that I should become a little more selfish.

A: Not more selfish but more strong — less influenceable by the will of others. These ladies wanted to go there and you did what they wished; you ought to have asked yourself: “Is it the will of the Mother that I should obey thus?”

21.5.1936

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Q: I admit it is my mistake that has brought about this ill-turn. I beg pardon.

A: It is not a big calamity and on your part it was rather a thoughtlessness than a fault. Do not be “too sad”. That is not a good preparation to see me on the occasion of your birthday. On the contrary you must be full of energy to discard from your life hereafter all that hinders you in approaching the Divine. My special blessings for this day, — May 22, 1936.

21.5.1936

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Q: You will strengthen my will?

A: Indeed, your will must become more and more consecrated and firm.

22.5.1936

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Q: I am still ignorant, I am nothing, I know nothing.

A: My help is always with you and also the force to surmount the weaknesses and difficulties. But you must know how to receive and utilise that.

24.5.1936

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Q: Where am I? How changed am I? Is life this?

A: It is not a question of life but a question of yoga and for that the indispensable basis is calm and tranquillity in the mind and the vital. It is to that you must work hard.

25.5.1936

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Q: I am going to try my best to achieve detachment.

A: Certainly that looks to me indispensable enough if you wish to be able to do yoga.

27.5.1936

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Q: Each day I make the effort, I see that unfortunately there is opposition to that effort.

A: If there were no reactions, you would not need to make effort.

28.5.1936

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I do not see any reason why all this procession of miseries should accompany you and I think it preferable not to dramatise an incident, which, after all, has nothing dramatic in itself.

29.5.1936

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Q: How to lift up my lower consciousness towards the higher?

A: I have already told you that the first condition is to quiet the mind and to make effort for the vital also to be peaceful.

30.5.1936

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In any case it is always wiser to discard from oneself all that pulls the consciousness downward.

30.5.1936

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Q: May I receive your help?

A: Yes, may you receive it and utilise it as one must.

1.6.1936

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Q: I aspire to receive your help.

A: My help is always with you, but to receive and profit by it, there must be sincerity and stability in the will.

2.6.1936

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Q: I am unhappy, I cannot control my movements, what shall I do?

A: Be sincere, always more sincere.

6.6.1936

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Q: Would you make me conscious of my insincerities?

A: Sincerity exacts that you confess immediately without my needing to question you.

8.6.1936

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Yes, in continuing to do what you know very well ought not to be done, you harden yourself and more and more veil your consciousness.

8.6.1936

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Q: I believe that the will to uplift myself is persistent, I must be patient.

A: It is of utmost importance that this will should assert itself and triumph. It is absolutely necessary.

8.6.1936

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Q: Make me free, free. Uplift me above all impulse and all desire and give me the psychic consciousness.

A: I want, as you do, that you come out of this confusion and that you make the inner discovery of your psychic being.

9.6.1936

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It is necessary, indeed, that the consciousness turns towards spiritual life in an exclusive way.

6.1936

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Q: Yesterday morning while reading this notebook there was a depression in a part of the being. Would you tell me why and in which part?

A: Perhaps your physical mind was not satisfied with my answer.

12.6.1936

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Q: I am not sure if the passion has been chased out from the vital or it is hiding somewhere below to surge up at any moment.

A: It is always wiser to be on guard.

12.6.1936

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As long as the vital is not converted and at least partially transformed, there will always be struggles.

13.6.1936

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Q: Do you think my central being is acting according to the suggestions of the vital?

A: The central being does not act, it is the external physical that does.

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Q: Is the psychic influence no more in the mind?

A: Undoubtedly, the psychic influence is there, but it is not strong enough to control your movements and actions.

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15.6.1936

Q: Do you think that the mental purusha which had once opened is now closed due to lowering in consciousness?

A: Let us hope not.

15.6.1936

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Q: Tell me frankly if my mental purusha is not veiled.

A: I think that in constantly yielding to vital impulsions you have veiled your consciousness much. But it is not irredeemable and with a persistent goodwill and persevering effort you will come out of this obscurity.

16.6.1936

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Q: I think my mental being was at one time under the influence of the psychic. But now there is not a single psychic action.

A: This kind of inquest is not of much use. What must be done is to react against the bad movement and put oneself again in contact with the psychic.

16.6.1936

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Q: Why is it easier to love a human being than the divine?

A: I do not see that it is easier. It depends upon the persons. The difference is that what men call “love” when it concerns another human being is not love at all but a frightful mixture of sentimentality, egoism, weakness, ignorance and sensuality. Evidently such a sentiment cannot be addressed to the divine.

17.6.1936

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Every effort to remove the veil is sure to yield result and little by little the consciousness will awake if the effort is continued.

17.6.1936

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Certainly you are very much weak in the presence of vital movements. You ought to detach yourself from them, look upon them from above and impose upon them the will of your higher consciousness.

20.6.1936

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Q: My nights are almost blank and even a little noise wakes me up completely and I have fear.

A: It is ridiculous to have fear, you are not a baby.

22.6.1936

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Q: Today I thought: Why am I on earth?

A: All these are absurdities you have to reject far from you without giving them the least importance.

22.6.1936

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Q: I must recover sincerity, fidelity, obedience and psychic influence.

A: Yes, it is a very good and very useful resolution. My force is with you to realise it.

23.6.1936

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Q: I want to rise to my higher consciousness and lift myself above the lower nature.

A: Persist in this attitude which is good and more and more you will be able to receive my force and help and to utilise them. My blessings are with you.

25.6.1936

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Q: Is it possible to receive your help and yet utilise it ill or not at all?

A: Yes, even that happens very often.

26.6.1936

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Q: Would you explain?

A: One receives the force and the power that I give and uses it to satisfy one’s own desires instead of utilising them in service of the Divine.

2.7.1936

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There must be great vigilance in order not to fall into movements of the lower consciousness; and there must be a will still greater in order to come out of it. Hence arm yourself with patience and will.

4.7.1936

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Q: It is too painful. Do a miracle so that I may completely detach myself from the vital movements, may receive none of the impulsions of that nature.

A: Do not make a mountain of such a little trifle; later you will laugh at this adventure — which you take so tragically at the moment — when a little more light and consciousness will have penetrated your lower vital.

6.7.1936

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Q: Yesterday I was mad, nothing interested me; it was not imagination. Was it all a mental formation?

A: I find all that completely ridiculous and quite out of proportion to the circumstances.

Q: Then why all these reactions?

A: Because the vital has the fancy of contradiction. If I had said to it: You ought not to and never can leave P it would have only thought of one thing — to flee far from P.

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Q: Is there nothing wrong in such terrible reactions taking place by forcing me to detach myself?

A: Do not exaggerate like that. These reactions are terrible only if you think them to be such. Correct your thought, see up to what point all this is childish and unimportant, and all those “terrible” reactions will disappear at once.

7.7.1936

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Q: How do you say that all this is completely ridiculous while I felt it absolutely real?

A: It was the pretended folly that was ridiculous not the fact that you were conscious of it.

8.7.1936

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to be continued…

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