Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Post Type Selectors
At the Feet of The Mother

Sex Difficulty


The sex centre is the physical centre — it happens to be the centre for sex and physical propagation also, but it is not separately and solely the centre of sex. If that were so, there would be no centre governing the physical consciousness, but only a centre governing the sex organ.

The sex exists in itself — put a number of sexual men together debarred from all possibility of feminine society — after a time they will begin to satisfy themselves homosexually.

To raise the sexual impulses and feelings to the head is no way of turning the sex-fluid into ojas. To turn the sex-fluid into ojas is done by Brahmacharya and partly by a special uplifting process which only those who are ready for it and can do it can accomplish. To raise sexual feelings and impulses to the head can only make things worse.

Chastity in body, mind and speech is the usual definition of Brahmacharya.

The cosmic sex tries to push itself into me with a great force.

That is so. The individual in sex matters is only a puppet of the universal sex force.

I do not allow consciously any sexual thought, feeling and impulse. And yet the movement goes on.

It is because it is part of the heredity and has deep roots in the subconscient.

What do you think of my sex difficulty?

I think it is a nuisance.

Whatever gives trouble and interferes with what is to be done is a “nuisance”.

Last night was full of sexual dreams. Can nothing be done to stop them?

The waking vital must first be cleared of all consent to sex.

During dreams it is noticed that my vital and physical express strong desires for sexual enjoyment. In the waking state there is a natural control by the will which goes away at night.

That is because of the imaginations. If one indulges in sex imaginations in the waking, then the subconscient (if not the conscious vital physical) is stimulated, keeps the impression and can send it up at night. You must get rid of the habit of sex imagination.

Sex is more active at present. The subconscient sends up all sorts of past sexual impressions.

Keep yourself detached and refuse to be moved or touched by them.

You wrote, “I do not know any reason — except the push and continued force of the sex-element in the nature.” But why is it more prominent and more active than before, even when my present state is of a luminous passivity?

The more conscious you become, the more it is felt so long as it is allowed to stay.

At present I am very busy with other developments, so could you not kindly withdraw this consciousness for a time?

That would mean going backward in the development.

But what is the use of my becoming more and more conscious, if I cannot control it?

Consciousness is necessary — otherwise it would mean that the sex would be there gathering still greater force for future activity. The control is not there because you do not put forth the necessary will-force.

How is it that the power of becoming conscious increases so much, while that of control so little?

Because of a weakness in yourself which continues to let the thing remain.

Please show me in which way I have allowed it to remain. I thought I had always tried to separate myself from the sex when conscious as far as I could.

Trying in a half way is not enough. There must be the sustained resolution not to allow it. Detachment is only a first step. But something in the vital wants it, therefore your will is lazy about throwing it out.

When I am near women my vital or physical mind takes careful note of their gait, hair or dress. I do not know what the mind means by that. But these perceptions are supported only by the mechanical and restless parts of the surface mind, while the other parts feel much disturbed by them and call them “lunatic wanderings”!

There is nothing harmful in such perceptions in themselves; one can observe anything, for the eyes are not meant to be blind. The question is how does the sex-instinct make use of the perceptions.

It is not always the attraction on our part that brings or creates the sexual pull. At times it is the mere presence of some particular type of women that does it. What we feel is our vital energy being drawn out.

Attraction is always the result, not the cause.

How is it my vital feels a special attraction towards some particular women?

Sex-appeal, perhaps — or in Z’s case a pull from her.

Sex-appeal? But they are less beautiful than many others in the Ashram!

Sex-appeal does not depend on being more beautiful than others or on being beautiful at all. It is a power in one vital of raising sex in another person’s vital.

I think women are not to be blamed even if they pull consciously. If men want to conquer sex they have to detach themselves from the pull of women and make their vital strong enough to remain detached. Is it not so?

It is right except that the starting-point or rather starting line is the sex-weakness in the man and the woman’s pull is only an immediate cause of its activity, not the fundamental cause. Moreover the sexual pull from the woman is not always conscious. Sometimes there is no pull from her; the man is attracted by the mere fact of her beauty or charm or even her femininity only while she herself has no sex desire at all. In such cases the man often fatuously imagines that the woman wants him, though it is quite untrue.

Apart from the sex difficulty of the vital, the body often feels a tendency to throw out something from the sex organ.

Is what is thrown out physical or subjective? If there is a strong excitement some liquid can come out — or in a spasm semen comes out and then it is called an emission. Sometimes semen comes out in certain illnesses by other means.

Is there no physical or psychological way of preventing the semen from being thrown out during sleep?

There is a way, if one can succeed in it — all don’t. It is to put a strong will as concrete as possible (like putting a line or current of force) on the sex-organ not to have emission — this force or will is put every night before going to sleep. Some have succeeded in that way. But if one has a great activity of sex imaginations in the waking state, then it is difficult or may be so to control at night. Another thing is to accustom oneself by a will in the subconscient to wake before the emission comes.

What are mental sex imaginations?

Mental sex imaginations are a form (the most subtle) of subtle indulgence. But if it is accompanied by sensation, then either the vital or physical must also be responding.

I told Dr. R that I get discharge of semen at night, mostly in connection with sexual dreams. He then asked if this happened during the waking state also. I replied, “Never.” But there can be no connection between my sex imaginations during the waking state and the discharges, because the women in the dreams at night are not the same as the ones who enter into my imaginations.

It does not follow that there is no connection. These imaginations stimulate the sex-urge and that assumes in sleep the form of dreams with any feminine form known or unknown as the centre. Sometimes even the forms are vague, it is the dream of touch etc. that causes the emission. It is true the emission can take place even if there is no waking sex urge, especially if there is pressure of urine or constipation, but that is usually less frequent or can more easily be eliminated.

What I said was that, if there is the sexual mixing in imagination that is enough to depress the consciousness and outward mixing or not then becomes an immaterial question, for it can’t bring down the consciousness worse than this kind of thing.

Can medical treatment cure an excessive sexuality? What it can cure perhaps is certain untoward results of sex on the body.

Some say it [sex] gets greater force by suppression than by leaving the ground free. But neither statement is true. All depends on the subjection of the consciousness to the sex or its power and will to control it.

Dr. R says that I get sex-imaginations because I do not mix freely with women.

Men mix freely with women in Europe — it doesn’t prevent them from having sex impulses, thoughts or imaginations.

He says Europeans don’t get so many sexual thoughts, impulses etc. like shy Indians.

That is not true — they have quite as many and they indulge them more freely.

Europe and America are full of free sex indulgence — they do not nowadays consider it a thing to be avoided but rather welcomed. But this is an Ashram and people are supposed to be doing a sadhana in which sex has to be surmounted. In the Ashram there are many who mix freely with all the sadhikas — they are certainly not free from sex. Avoiding also is not a panacea. One can avoid and have sex imaginations and desires. But it is absurd to say that avoiding is the cause of sex-imaginations and impulses or that mixing is a panacea for it.

It may be true that ordinarily mixing with women removes shyness etc., — though it is not always so, for many people are sex-timid by nature — but that is a means for ordinary life, not Yoga, and in ordinary life marriage is the direct means for getting rid of sex-uneasiness; marriage or else having love-affairs with women and satisfying the sex. But that is not the proper means for an Ashram and Yoga. In Yoga the proper means is to train the mind and vital to meet women without thought of sex, to look on them as sadhaks and human beings only, not as objects of sexual possession and enjoyment.

What is best for everyone is to be able to meet women without seeking out their company, to meet without being preoccupied with the sex. Shyness and uneasiness are usually signs of the sex-preoccupation unless they are constitutional, when they will be there for other things also, not for women only.

What is sublimation of sex as some people put it?

If the sex seeks the Divine Love and Ananda, it must be the sex that gets it — the sex impulse changed from a lower into a higher anandamaya sex impulse. That or mostly like it is what people mean when they speak of the sublimation of sex.

I see that some people have misunderstood about sex in the Yoga. Instead of its disappearance they seem to believe in its sublimation. Why not make a public announcement about its real place in the Yoga?

There are already letters on sex published in the Bases of Yoga — they have only to read the book. Every sadhak knows that the sex action is forbidden and the sex desire discouraged here; they have themselves written complaining of the sex-impulse continuing and praying that it might go. Why all that if they expect to enjoy rapturously or sublimely?

Sometimes the mind can detach itself successfully from sex, while at other times it finds it difficult even to make an effort!

If you can detach yourself successfully sometimes, it is a matter of perseverance to go on until the power to do so becomes automatic and always available. It may take long, but by perseverance it can be done.

Related Posts

Back to ,
It is not the personality, the character that is of the first importance in rebirth — it is the psychic being who stands behind the evolution of the nature and evolves with it.