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At the Feet of The Mother

“The Mother of Dreams” — Some Experiences from 1973 (4)

 

4

Dream of 15-9-1973

 

Another dream of the Mother, again at an early hour today. It was a long dream, but my memory does not go back beyond a certain point. At that point which serves as the beginning for me, the keynote of all the dreams — number 2 — is at once struck.

For, I find myself in a kind of classroom with only one other student. We are two and the Mother is our teacher. The second student is Huta. She has an exercise-book, but I have only a big white envelope with a letter in it dealing with a worldly concern — a sort of business letter. The flap of the envelope has not yet been stuck.

The Mother dictates a sentence in French — a message from her. I start wondering from where to get hold of some material on which to take down the message. Then I decided to write, in a small hand, on the inside of the envelope flap. I can’t recall the words in full but the ending sounds like “t’arrondir” which means, literally, “to make you round” and, figuratively, “to enlarge or extend you” or perhaps “to make you full and complete”. When the dictation is done, the Mother wants to look at it. She turns the envelope around and reads what I have written. She finds it correct and is pleased.

She moves on to what has been written on Huta’s exercise-book and, after reading it, puts her signature on the page. This seems to be her custom. Then she moves back to me. My envelope has changed into an exercise-book. She waits for a second — and decides to put her signature on my page, too. But it’s not the full name. Just an abbreviation: M. I feel very moved by her generous act.

Now she leaves us. We follow. I may say that my eyes have no cataracts and my left leg is not lame at all. While following the Mother at a distance I feel extremely open to her in my heart. Aspiration and devotion are working there intensely. I ask myself: “Should I send that business letter at all? Why not forget about it and give myself wholly to the Mother?”

At last we reach the door of her apartment. Huta walks in as if that was a natural thing to do. I stand outside and wait. The Mother, who is standing beyond the threshold, smiles, steps half outside, catches my hand and pulls me in. I go in happily. At this time my companion student is a mixture of Huta and Vasudha. She sees that there is a big attached bathroom and exclaims: “How nice! We shall live here like two cooks!” The word “cooks” is surely odd but again the number 2 openly named is striking.

Huta-Vasudha then disappears and I am alone with the Mother. Now she and I form the number 2. I am very close to her. I have an arm half around her waist. The Mother’s face is near mine. I move my head a little forward and lightly kiss her on the right cheek. She is slightly startled and makes a serious, semi-disapproving face. I say, “Sorry”, and everything is all right. Then she starts speaking about my sister Minnie. She says: “I wish to bring Minnie near me. I know she has been full of love for me, but I have understood that this love was meant to be in her inner being and not come at all into her outer. The outer was meant to be different. But now I want her to stay near me.” I remark: “Mother, whatever you do in this way is just what she wants. It will enrapture her.”

Here the dream breaks off. I wake up. My impulse is to look at my wrist-watch. But I don’t look, I lie quietly lest the memory of the dream should vanish. I trace back the events of the dream for a short while and then, when I am sure of them, I get up, take my wrist-watch to the next room, switch on the light and try to read the time. For a second I can’t properly see. The light dazzles me. When I am able to look it is 3.29 a.m. A few minutes have surely elapsed from the time the dream ended. It must be two or three minutes. Most probably it is three. If that is so, the time was 3.26 a.m. The numbers would add up to 11=2.

P.S. — My first operation has come to be fixed for next Tuesday: 18.9.1973=38=11=2. Doctor Ursekar will do it. He is at present doing his own work as well as that of Doctor Maskati who was going to operate on me but is now gone abroad.

Doctor Ursekar=13 letters=4.

Tuesday=7 letters.

So 4+7=11=2.

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